An Unexpected Turn

“The weight just had to go!” Jenny decided.

 

It was this decision to embark on a physical fitness regimen that acted as a catalyst for this story.

This is Jenny’s tale in her own words.

𝗔𝗡 𝗨𝗡𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗡

Day 1, I made a mental review of all I needed; a cool outfit, expensive trainers, face cap, waist pouch, and a little bottle of water…check! I was ready.

I headed down the quiet streets of my neighborhood with one goal, walk 5 miles around the area to get my fitness juices flowing.

I walked for what seemed like forever. I felt my heart trying to escape my chest. 

I was sure I walked for miles and miles. You can imagine my shock when I checked my Fitbit and realized I had barely walked a mile!

I sat down on the grassy lawn in front of an old building to catch my breath. I felt dizzy. With my feet on the tarred road, I put my head between my knees.

Suddenly, I heard a shrill screech coming from the house behind me.

“Get off my lawn immediately you….!” (insert derogatory female term)

I turned around to see what was happening.

I saw a tiny lady, with a bonnet on, fluffy pink slippers and a housecoat. A storybook grandma. She would have looked cute without that horrible frown, the screaming, and that stick she was waving in all directions.

Who was she fighting off? I looked around me to see who had riled her so.

“Get out!! Get out!! Or I’ll call the police to get you out.”

By this time, she was by the gate and I realized I was the object of her fury.  

Luckily, I had recovered a bit from my physical exhaustion and could address her properly without sounding like I had breathing issues.

I walked up to her gate and in the calmest voice possible I asked,

“Why exactly are you screaming? You know I’ve done nothing wrong.”

“You are on private property!” She yelled.

“No, I’m not. You know in this country the area in front of your house is public property right? Unless this is an embassy and I don’t think so”

I poked my head around her to get a better glimpse of the building. Yup! It wasn’t a diplomatic residence.

“Look you have no right to sit there.” She bristled.

“Ma’am, I have every right, and if you feel I have committed a crime call the police.”

I left her by her gate to annoy herself. I went back to the spot I was earlier and contemplated my next move. Go home or try and push one more mile. I felt my chest and I knew I couldn’t do anymore. I faced home.

“Don’t come back here anymore.” I heard the shrilly voice scream behind me.

I’m not sure why I engaged her, I’m not the confrontational type. My usual M.O is avoiding stress at all cost, in this case, walk away.

Maybe I was fueled by my frustration at not being able to walk a mile without breaking down. A mile!!!

I stormed back to her gate “ I’ll be back tomorrow around the same time. And I will be taking my rest anywhere I please!” I yelled to her grumbling retreating form.

I pushed her out of my mind. But the next morning when planning to head out, I remembered our encounter and decided to use the same route, after all a promise was a promise.

She was at me again..

“Don’t you listen? I said get off my lawn! What is wrong with you?”

“I told you I’ll be back… where is the police?” I called out to her.

It’s easy to call a bluff when you know the outcome. She wasn’t calling anyone.

“I just want you out and don’t you ever come back here again!”

I drank a sip of water from my bottle and continuing my walk I called out to her. … “I’ll see you tomorrow”

That day I made her house my 1-mile rest stop. My goal was to power walk to this lady’s house every day till I could do it without feeling like it was a near-death experience.

One day though as I made to sit down I heard her yell “Get your fat ass off my lawn!”

I couldn’t let it slide, “You wish you had an ass!” I retorted as I plunked said body part on her grass. Rested a bit before going on.

We did this every day for about three weeks. I arrive at her place to rest, she hurls an insult and I respond.

“Should I call a forklift to come to get you?” She called out on another day.

“Should I call an ambulance to come to get you?” I responded.

I barely stopped myself from saying ‘undertaker’ the silly old woman.

I wasn’t even upset anymore… I began to look forward to it. Always hoping my comeback was as good as her jibe…she seemed to have an armful of ready quips.

I remember another day as I approached her house on my power walk, she yelled from behind the gate just before I sat down…

“Well here comes rolly polly”

I wasn’t ready. It hit me in my funny bone. I burst out laughing…. rolly polly indeed! I had to admit, I lost that round.

I was already on her lawn, so I took the opportunity to roll around on it. Hoping it’ll get a rise out of her and I stuck my tongue out as I got up and went on my way.

This woman brings out the child in me and not in a good way.

Physically I was doing good. My heart was getting stronger. I was so happy with the progress that I took a long weekend off, 3 days of relaxing. … the first mistake, On the fourth day when I decided to resume my routine, I thought to myself, Why not jog today? Power walking is for wimps! Second mistake.

I jogged, and by the time I got to my 1- mile rest stop aka crazy granny lady’s house. I thought was I about to die.

I collapsed on her front lawn… face in the dirt, hands, and feet splayed…. I didn’t have long to wait before I heard the now-familiar creak of her screen door as it opened. I knew she was coming… I couldn’t be bothered. I had no energy for a fight that day.

I felt the jab of a pointed stick on my lower back.

“Ouch! That hurt! Why would you do that?”

She staggered back.

“I thought you were dead!”

“Dead?? Lady, if wanted to die why would I die in front of your house?”

“I… I… well, how was I to know it was you? Besides, you haven’t come by in three days I thought you had finally decided to give, me some peace!”

She turned around quickly. If I hadn’t been looking directly at her, I would have missed it. The slight tremor of her lips. And it occurred to me.

She missed that I didn’t show up…

While I am sure that was not how it began, somewhere along the way this silly thing we did was something she now enjoyed not endured like she put on. I didn’t even notice the dynamic had changed till now.

“I had to make a quick trip,” I called out after her.

She didn’t turn round just “hmphed…” and went inside.

I felt I should apologize. But it’s silly, crazy granny lady and I are not friends.

The next day I got to my resting spot and lo… She was seated outside her house. Under the shade of a large tree that had branches extending over her fence. She sat on a wicker chair knitting. She didn’t look up when I approached, but I knew she was waiting for me. I sat on the grass as usual facing the road. I decided to give her a few minutes,

Soon she said….

“Why do you do this? what’s your goal? “

“I want to lose 10kg”

“Humph! That’s never going to happen.”

I didn’t rise to the bait…” I also have a goal to run a 5k…”

“Pigs will fly! “

I wasn’t fooled.

“Thank you for asking,” I said as I got up and continued my walk.

Every day after that I met her outside her house knitting. I gave an update of what the scale in my bathroom had told me that morning. She will think of something snide to say. Ill laugh or respond and continue.

As weeks past. My body began to change. Stamina improved… I didn’t need to stop at her house for a rest. By the time I arrived at her property I wasn’t even sweating. I had met my goal.

I decided to move my goal post to a 2-mile mark. I remember the day I did it. I passed crazy granny lady’s house, I saw her, stuck out my tongue  but didn’t stop. I noticed the look of disappointment on her face as she dropped her knitting to watch me pass by.

So, after that day I made sure to stop at her house. I no longer needed to. But I did.

I would always wait for her to ask me for an update and to throw and ‘encouraging insult’.

“…You’ll never make your goal the way you are going…”

“…Everybody now thinks they are athletes, even you…”

“…Have heard of the show “so you really think you can run? You should apply”

When for three days my weight plateaued, I told her I suspected it was hormones. she smirked

“…Ha! hormones my foot…”

6 months of working out every single day. I was ready to try the 5k charity run organized by the community.

 I told her.

“Would have loved to come and see you fall flat on your face.”

I shook my head…she never let up.

“Would have loved to run you over at the finish line you batty old lady.”

She tried hard. but  a tiny smile peeked through.

I felt triumphant. Getting a reaction from her was like pulling teeth.

The day of the race dawned nice and clear. A bit chilly but not uncomfortable.

A 5k run…so easy for others but for me, it was a venture as daunting in my mind as climbing Mount Everest.

I was ready to give up so many times on that run…I remember, when I was at my most exhausted, and I felt I couldn’t go one more step. I wondered why was I putting myself through this. There was no cash prize for me at the finish line. If I stopped now no one would care.  

“Jesus I can’t do this!” I cried.

The image of the crazy granny lady rose in my mind.… waiting to hear the outcome of this race. I wasn’t willing to give her more arsenal to insult me with.

So, I pushed, and I pushed till I saw the finish line. The muscles in my thighs were burning, they had never worked this hard before, there was no 1-mile rest stop this time.

Sweat escaping from my headband made its way to my eyes. I was blinking rapidly when I crossed the finished line not just from the sting of my sweat in my eyes, but from tears.

I made it! I really did it!

Even though I was surrounded by family and friends rejoicing with me, there was one person I wanted to share this moment with.

The one person who had seen my first terrible attempt at getting into shape and somehow been a motivator along my journey.

When I got home, I was exhausted, but I had one more run to make.

My heart softened when I saw her sitting outside her gate.

How did she know I’ll come?

I fell on her lawn …and started picking the grass at my feet nonchalantly.

I held all the aces. I knew she was dying to know.

“So, you are still alive, are you?” She said gruffly. “Did they have to carry you across the finish line?”

I ignored her for a few seconds then I pulled out from my left pocket, my medal of completion.

“Let me see”

 I handed it over to her. She held the metal circle part in her hand rubbing it between her fingers as she turned it over.

The silly woman must be checking to see if it’s real, I thought.

Then she did something I never thought I’d see. She smiled. The crazy granny lady smiled so wide that I noticed for the first time that she didn’t have all her teeth in.

“You did it,” she said softly. “I prayed you would”.

“Huhn? You pray?”

Oops! That wasn’t meant to come out…

“Fair question. I used to a long time ago. But…

She pulled out a wrinkly hanky and wiped her eyes. What’s with all this emotion? Where is my crazy granny lady?

“Anyway, it’s… It’s because you showed up. You showed up every day except those three days.

By the second month when you never missed a day, I said to myself, this is a young lady that can accomplish anything. You put in the work and you did it diligently. You were bound to succeed. I wanted you to, so I turned to Jesus, I asked him if he would please help you.”

The tears came to my eyes unbidden. I felt like Helen Baylor “I had a praying grandmother.” Just not what I expected.

My heart swelled.

“Thank you, He did help. He really did.”  I sniffed. “Why was it important to you that I did this?”

I looked everywhere but her face. She went back to knitting furiously. This was uncharted territory for us.

“All my life I have always stopped short of my finish lines because it got too hard. Truth is, I was always too afraid of failing so I made sure I never did. In love, career, friendships, relationships.

Now I am 85. I have nothing to look back on that fills me with pride. I don’t want that for you.

I knew if you didn’t complete this race now because it was too hard, you will always have an excuse for everything else.

But you didn’t give up on this. Now you’ll find the benefit of overcoming one obstacle. It gives you the power to overcome more.”

I nodded. I knew what she meant. It was how I felt…like I could fly!

So…,”  She continued

I looked up at her as she got up out of her wicker chair.

” …would you like to come in for some coffee?”

“Err. no, I really…”

“That’s okay she cut in. I understand.”

“No, you don’t…” I reached for her arm to stop her. It was the first physical contact I ever had with her. She was skinny under all those layers she wore.

She turned to face me

“I really need a shower. I stink. Once I’m done, I’ll be back if that okay with you.” I smiled

She did that thing again. She smiled. Less unsettling than the previous time. I guess I may have to get used to it.

“You do stink. Go on then, see you soon.”

She called as I turned to leave, “What’s your name, by the way, I can’t continue to refer to you as Humpty dumpty in my mind, can I? That’ll be just rude.”

I threw my head back and laughed.

 

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗘𝗡𝗗

© Ogugua Ajayi

𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝑰 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆

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