“𝐴𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑔𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑦? 𝐶𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒 𝐺𝑜𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑖𝑒.”
These are her only lines in the entire book. Infamous words that have kept her maligned throughout history.
She is seen as a temptation to her husband. The voice of the enemy in a time when Job resolved to stay strong under the most horrible conditions. She was evil…we get it.
Truthfully, I usually skim through her part. The book of Job is not about her. It is not her story. It is about Job.
But not today. Today I find myself drawn to this woman who does not feature at all except to be a source of distraction for Job. Wandering about her, I realized we had something in common.
I have two beautiful healthy children. But I have been pregnant 7 times. The children that did not survive I call, Angels 1-5. Angel No 1 and No 5 I mourned deeply for. So deeply, I thought my heart would break and I will never recover. Angel No 1 would have been 13 years old this year. Angel No 5? Let us not talk about him… Angels No’s 2,3,4? I was just numb.
This woman, Job’s wife, had just lost ALL her children! TEN! Let that number sink in. Then consider, she lost them all at once! In ONE day. A house fell over them. Killing ALL her sons and her daughters.
I stopped wondering how she could utter such words to her husband. Instead, I took a second look at this woman and tried to put myself in her shoes and my mind nearly exploded. I could not deal. I now wondered … how is she still sane? How is she not on the streets, digging through trash, a raving lunatic?
Then the one person she could turn to for comfort, her husband, Job, had become ostracized because his body was inflamed with horrible boils that oozed stinking pus.
I imagined standing beside her as she lashed out at her him, and spoke her now-infamous words
“Why do you hold on to your integrity? Curse God and die”
In my mind, I registered that line as… “Curse God let us die”
She knew Job was a praying man. A man known for his righteousness. If he cursed God perhaps God will finish what he started and end her misery and kill her too.
Job rightly rebuked her. And that was the end of her scene. But you see, I followed her in my mind’s eye. As she went back to her chambers covered from head to toe in ashes signifying her grief. She was truly alone.
I saw her throw herself against her bed and scream, a sound so chilling that her handmaidens on the other side of the tent cover felt their insides curl with fear. Her agony was so intense. So guttural it sounded like a wild animal being slaughtered. No tears fell because she had none left. Her grief was raw.
She screamed till her voice became hoarse, scratching the walls, digging her nails into her skin hoping to feel physically the pain that overwhelmed her on the inside. I could do nothing to help her. I just wept for and with her. Jobs wife.
And then she opened her mouth and began to curse God.
I was frightened for her.
“No! Don’t do that” I begged.
I tried to warn her, but she was too far gone. She would not listen.
She continued to rile against her maker. Frothing at the mouth. With the same lips, she had given endless praise for the many blessing He had bestowed on her and her family. She now cursed him. Anger, sorrow upon sorrow fueled her. Desolation opened like a chasm and she fell in. When she was done, she collapsed in a heap on the floor her anger spent and waited for death.
El Elyon the sovereign one. The Supreme being over the whole earth. I Imagined Him in heaven watching her. I saw the Angels stand at attention, swords unsheathed ready to strike for none dare curse the Elohim the way she did and live.
Who was she to question the El Shaddai?
But God…
He raised his hand to stay the judgment and he stood up from his throne and descended to earth to see his creation that hurt so. He lifted her off the ground and carried her in his arms. Like a mother would her baby.
But God…
Who is not a man, saw her anger for what it truly was. He felt her sorrow like it was his own. Like he knew what it was to lose a loved one. And he did know. With his arms wrapped around her, she wanted to stay angry but could not. This was Jehovah. He did not give love; love was who he was. It surrounded her, engulfed her, went in and through her. Her hard and shattered heart could not stand against it.
She opened her eyes, not understanding how she could still be alive? She asked in a voice weak from all her exertion “Why would you save me?”
The whole of heaven vibrated as his words shook the very foundation of the earth.
“𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚; 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙬𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪..”
His words pierced her soul and went straight to core of her broken heart. Her tears flowed.
She still hurt but… I imagined Our Father binding her wounds and working on her inside. All the while whispering words of comfort. And when He finished, He breathed a different kind of life back into her and told her heart to beat again.
Like a baby learning to walk and trusting in the parent to steady her and catch her if she fell. Job’s wife began to come around, one step at a time. She forged a real relationship with her husbands’ God. Time passed. One day she laughed when she saw a butterfly burst out of its cocoon. She had begun to heal.
On another day basking in fellowship with her Abba, she sensed God whisper in her heart.
“ 𝘼 𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣 𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜.”
“What do you mean?” She smiled.
“𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙚.”
She continued to worship when a servant arrived to inform her that her husband was completely healed and, on his way, back home.
She screamed in delight. And rushed through her ablution. She ran out of the house and ran up the path to the hill where her Job had exiled himself. She saw him coming and ran into his arms. He tried to push her away, he knew he smelt and still had the residue of the infection on him, but she would not let go. She clung on to him, giving God praise repeatedly.
She knelt before Job and cried,
“Forgive me for I have sinned before you and before GOD.”
Job was shocked. It seemed he was not the only one to have had an encounter with The Almighty.
He bent down and pulled her to her feet.
“I too have sinned before you and before God. But God is Merciful.”
“That he is …” she said, and they both leaned on each other as they went up home.
I imagine in my mind’s eye her joy, mingled with fear when she realized she was pregnant again. Maybe, she felt the same way I did when I found out I was pregnant with my son who is now 10 years old.
Will this one stay? Will it survive? Should I prepare for mourning? Or rejoicing?
For Job’s wife and I, it was good news.
She went on though, getting pregnant again and again, and again…till God restored to her 10 healthy children. Her daughters were described as the most beautiful in the land.
There were times, fear tried to take hold. But she had come to know the Elohim, the mighty creator. El Elyon, The Most High God… Yahweh. She knew that no matter what happened, it was well.
P.S:
Isn’t it interesting that though God rebuked Job’s friends for misrepresenting him, there was no rebuke for his wife? Selah
The End
©𝑶𝒈𝒖𝒈𝒖𝒂 𝑨𝒋𝒂𝒚𝒊
𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝑰 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆,
𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝑰 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆.
𝑰 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔.
